Irish Humor.........

Laura and Jim will be hosting the May meeting this Saturday the 12th and it will be the usual of food, drinks, raffle and fun.
 
Doors will be open at 6:00 pm for social talk and the meeting will start at 7:00.  Parking gets a little tight and the city says you can't park on 4th but there is a parking lot a block away.   Meeting is usually held in the backyard so feel free to bring your favorite lawn chair, weather permitting of course.

If you need address/directions, contact a club member.

Best if you park at Mini Mall (where the spaghetti establishment use to be)
 
You will get to see his new frag tank set up in the making.
 
Hope to see you there!

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[Ed]

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time
>removing the olives and placing them in a jar.
>
>When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the
>Irishman started to leave.
>
>"S'cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done,
>what was that all about?"
>
>"Nothin', said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of
>olives!"
>
>*******************************************************
>
>"I've Lost Me Luggage"
>
>An Irishman arrived at J.F.K.  Airport and wandered around the terminal
>with
>tears streaming down his cheeks.  An airline employee asked him if he was
>already homesick.
>
>"No," replied the Irishman "I've lost all me luggage!"
>
>"How'd that happen?"
>
>"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.
>
>*****************************************************
>
>"Water to Wine"
>
>An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding
>in
>Connecticut.
>
>The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an
>empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.  He says, "Sir, have you been
>drinking?"
>
>"Just water," says the priest.
>
>The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
>
>The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord!  He's done it again!"
>
>***********************************************
>
>"The Brothel"
>
>Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel
>across the street.
>
>They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said,
>Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."
>
>Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye,
>tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation as well."
>
>Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen
>said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be dying.
>
>*************************************
>
>Irish Cemetery
>
>Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub
>late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old
>graveyard..
>
>"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave,
>God
>bless his soul.  He lived to the ripe old age of 87."
>
>"That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says
>here
>that he was 95 when he died."!
>
>Just then, Seamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!"
>
>"What was his name?" asks Paddy.
>
>Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is
>written on the stone marker, and exclaims,
>
>"Miles, from Dublin."
>
>***************************************************
>
>Irish Predicament
>
>Drunk Ole Mulvihill (From the Northern Irish Clan) staggers into a Catholic
>Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing.
>
>The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the Ole just sits
>there.
>
>Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
>
>The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side
>either."
>
>***************************************************
>
>Irish Last Request
>
>Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady's after his Sunday morning service,
>and she's in tears.
>
>He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
>
>She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news.  My husband passed away last
>night."
>
>The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible.  Tell me, did he have any last
>requests?"
>
>She says, "That he did, Father..."
>
>The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
>
>She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun!'
>
>
>*************************************************
>
>
>Happy St. Patrick's Day!
 :wink:

[mikeydog]

You know Ed thats just great.  Go ahead and spread the ol "Irish are drunks" stereotype.  

If your not IRISH then why don't you pick on your own Heritige..

Mike O'BRIEN

[mikeydog]

Oh by the way Ed.  I'm just messing with you.

I have one joke and an ancient IRISH proverb.

What is the difference between and Irish Wedding and an Irish Funeral.??

One less drunk...!!


And the ancient Irish proverb goes like this.

An Irish Man is NEVER DRUNK as long as he can hold onto a blade of grass and not fall of the face of the Earth..

So true.....

Mike

[Ed]

:shock: I am a little Irish...lmao..I am Irish from my Mom- McMahon, My Dad was German.    

I was raised Catholic too ..I think Mom had something to do with that..

[mikeydog]

Just remember the beauty of this Holiday.  Name any other day of the year that everyone wants to be a specific race, creed, religion or species..

There isn't one.  On Saint Patricks day everyone wants to be Irish, or celibrate like the Irish, or at least drink like the Irish.  hehe..  See what most people don't understand is that the Irish are slowly taking over the world.  It's you basic World domination plan.   We've already taken over 1 day of the year.  I would say within the next 2 or 3 hundred thousand years we should own the rest of the 364 days..

Mike

[Ed]

:shock: not sure If I want to drink this Green Beer anymore... :shock:

[angelscrx]

Funny if the Irish are trying to take over the world then why are they leaving?  Reports shown on CNN today said that more Irish Immigrants are leaving America than coming in!  

Good humor though.

[mikeydog]

We've already done what we need to do here.  We are now spreading out..

[angelscrx]

We've already done what we need to do here.  We are now spreading out..

Oh is that what you call it?  Ok  :lol:

[Cartman]

Yes those darn irish why cant they be more like us scottish folks